Featured interview with Amanda Wiart Mother of two, Louis (16) and Elliot (13) and Business Owner of Yogi Spirit.
Romina: What’s the first most memorable moment you remember with your children ?
Amanda: There are so many memorable moments with my sons; some are beautiful while others are tinged with mother’s guilt, which unfortunately I think all mothers have. Probably the one that comes to me most immediately, is the moment when Louis, my eldest son, was put on my chest. After the cesarean, they quickly whisked him away so that I could be stitched then wheeled into recovery . As I dropped in and out of a drugged sleep I had moments of such deep yearning emptiness, in a sort of no baby’s land. Once I was back in my room, the nurse took Louis out of his rainbow pastel coloured blanket cocoon and placed him on my chest, his bare skin against mine. There he nestled and snuggled into the most perfect little fetal position as small as a football right between my breasts as if he had always belonged there, as feelings of warmth and love and belonging swept over me.
Romina: Being a business owner & mother – what are best tips to other business owners and mothers?
Amanda: The advantage of working for myself is that I can choose my working hours to some degree, but this can also be a disadvantage as there is always something to be done which can spill over into every aspect of your life. In the first few years my business consumed me and I think I had the feeling that the harder I worked the more likely my business would succeed. But this I realised was not the case, it only resulted in being overly stressed and burning out. I had become my own harsh boss, pushing for deadlines and never happy with a never ending list. I have now learnt there is always a list of which I will never get to the end of, I have learned to accept that. I have also learned my deadlines are my own and no one else knows when they are so I can shift if need be with no real repercussions. A quote that I keep coming back to, is people overestimate how much they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in 10 years. The balance between being a mother and a business owner is realising I do not have to be super woman and get everything done. The house is messy, the business list goes on, but I am more present with my children and with my own needs. There is a constant process of learning to live in the flow and not on the treadmill.
Romina: What is the first ‘aha’ moment you had as a mother?
Amanda: The first ‘aha’ moment was realising how much having a baby changed me. My life was no longer about me, and unfortunately not about my husband either. I was prepared to change my sleeping habits, my eating habits and my social habits. I discovered organic food, I started reading all the ingredient labels on shampoos. It was the beginning of a greater sense of awareness about all my habits and my thoughts and even how my ex-husband and I related with each other. The aha moment continues as I find my sons really are the greatest teachers; as they navigate the teenage transition and I navigate the choppy waters of menopause.
Romina: What is the most valuable thing your mother taught you ?
Amanda: My mother is a very strong and independent woman with a great intellectual curiosity. But the most valuable thing my mother taught me was how important inner work was to living a full juicy life. Introspection and the work of self awareness is not an easy path, and it sometimes requires discipline but I have found it to be rewarding on so many levels, not only for uncovering the stories that are sometimes in the driver seat of my life, but also to fully accept myself.
Romina: Finally, what is it you hope your children have learnt from you ?
Amanda: “That the definition of a real man is one who cries without shame, reads poetry with his heart and feels opera in his soul.” (from Delia Owens).
I hope they have both learned from me that it is ok to be human with all our flaws and imperfections, and that we do not need to be perfect to be loved. And that being happy is not some reward for gruelling hard work. That they deserve to be loved for who they are and not what they do, and that they learn to follow their heart.